Things I've Overlooked Because the Sex Was Spectacular

A penchant for Xeroxing her various bodyparts and handing them out around her office.

Inability to go more than 34 minutes without saying "redonkulous."

A criminal record.

Six cats, all of whom enjoyed taking a swipe at my cock and balls whenever I was in their ladykeeper's bed.

The daily threatening of: "If you ever leave me for someone else, I'll shoot her, then shoot you."

Little Nemo on Ice.

A bizarre obsession with flipping off bouncers once she'd "had a few."

The roommate with the crossbow.

Her four-foot plush Clifford the Big Red Dog that sat next to the bed and I swear was staring at me every time we screwed.

That anniversary party for my Aunt Agnes when she got drunk and flashed the room.

The eyepatch fetish.

Every "Ernest" movie on DVD.

"Screwing white guys is fine, but I eventually want to settle down with a rich Asian."

Her ex-boyfriend, the homicidal maniac.

Her brother, the homicidal maniac.

Her sister, the homicidal [but ridiculously stacked] maniac.

"What time do you want to get up for church?"