It's Time For Male Objectification: Flat-versus-Squeezalicious

Just like those boob men who don't like flat chests, we don't really like the flat butts. We lika-da bubble-booty. Really, it can cause some of us to drool, Pavlovian-style. Now, I'm not quite sure why, from a biological standpoint. A woman's breasts make sense, because that was the first form of nourishment; indeed, what kept us alive. And the more rounder, fuller breast, the more food! But the butt doesn't really serve any other purpose except for excreting waste and looking good in Levi's. Perhaps it's just one of God's gift to women, free of charge?