Not Safe For Work
As far as my office is concerned, I'm all about the illicit affairs. Because those people know how to keep things "on the sly" as the clever people say. A nod, a wink, perhaps a brief coded e-mail, and they're off to dinner at Joe's and perhaps a nice bang session at a local Marriott.
On the other hand, you've got the office workers who are co-mingling and seem to want the world to know about it. Yeah, they're usually younger and don't have a significant other at home whom other may know about. But still, I just don't need to see that shit in my life.
For example, the other day, I head down to the soda machine. When I get there, I see, out of the corner of my eye, a couple making out in the corner of the hall, between the cafeteria and the corporate gym. And not just making out--she's practically humping his leg and he's squeezing her over sized ass cheeks like they're a couple wet bags of sand. I look at them--purely out of the fascination of the abomination--and they stop and look at me, and the girl--a real ornery sort--shoots me a look and chortles, "What are you lookin' at?" They then proceed to move about four feet down the hall, just out of my line of sight, and continue.
I just bit my tongue, went to my happy place, and selected my soda. Looking back, I wish I'd told them, look, no one needs to see such PDAs in an office. As I see it, if you're banging the resident "big girl," that's your problem--not something you should feel obligated to share with the masses. Unless, of course, two hot chicks wanna make out with each other. Hell, they can use my office.
Next week, I'll probably slash her tires. I'm keeping my options open.
On the other hand, you've got the office workers who are co-mingling and seem to want the world to know about it. Yeah, they're usually younger and don't have a significant other at home whom other may know about. But still, I just don't need to see that shit in my life.
For example, the other day, I head down to the soda machine. When I get there, I see, out of the corner of my eye, a couple making out in the corner of the hall, between the cafeteria and the corporate gym. And not just making out--she's practically humping his leg and he's squeezing her over sized ass cheeks like they're a couple wet bags of sand. I look at them--purely out of the fascination of the abomination--and they stop and look at me, and the girl--a real ornery sort--shoots me a look and chortles, "What are you lookin' at?" They then proceed to move about four feet down the hall, just out of my line of sight, and continue.
I just bit my tongue, went to my happy place, and selected my soda. Looking back, I wish I'd told them, look, no one needs to see such PDAs in an office. As I see it, if you're banging the resident "big girl," that's your problem--not something you should feel obligated to share with the masses. Unless, of course, two hot chicks wanna make out with each other. Hell, they can use my office.
Next week, I'll probably slash her tires. I'm keeping my options open.
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