How to Get More People to Use Public Transportation

So let me get this straight: I ride the MBTA every day and the closest thing I have to female contact is when some geriatric with 15 shopping bags sticks her rumpled ass in my face so as to convince me to give up my seat that much quicker. Meanwhile, these folks in NYC get an amateur strip show/lap dance from a pack of deranged college chicks?

Man, fuck that noise.