The Sweet, Slightly Rancid Smell of Desperation

Being single is one of the greatest accomplishments of the 21st century. And yet, it may sometimes feel like being a card-carrying member of the nearby leper colony. Weddings, company holiday parties, and Aunt Bernice's Thanksgiving extravaganza all imply or outright require a "date" for attendance. And when feeling pressured/coerced to find said mate, (in order to fit in and comply with our current aministration's "family values") you go to things that make you feel like a complete dork - speed dating, online blind date, or an auto shop class that is full of - you guessed it, other similarly dorkified, pissed off single women. And indeed, for what? The privilege of being interrogated by nosy relatives and inappropriate acquaintances on, ultimately, the present and future of your sex life: "So, when are you kids getting married? When you having kids?"
It's enough to make you wanna be a ho.