Things Only Women Can Get Away With

So I'm out with the lads at our favorite local watering hole, and the owner asks us if we wouldn't mind moving to another table because the bar's setting up a stage for an event later that night. We say sure and work our way to another table, where we're joined by a couple ladies who were also displaced. So now we've got beer and women, which is a lethal combination.

About a half hour later, one of my buddies, who ended up sitting next to one of the girls, starts acting strangely. Looking blank-faced, nervously flitting his eyes about, scratching his head. He then inexplicably gets up to leave and is followed by the girl sitting next to him.

Turns out that as soon as we all ended up at the table together and she found herself next to him, she casually dropped her hand in his lap and started working over his johnson right then and there, getting him into such a state, he was basically hypnotized into doing her bidding.

Now, see, that's a woman who clearly understands things. Not content to fritter away time with lackluster conversation or trite "get to know yas," she simply goes right for the command center. And she is successful.

Ladies, again, I applaud your various maneuvers. Also, feel free to try that one on me anytime.