Free Advice Fridays: Girls (and Boys) on Film

Dear Ken & Ariel. I need your help: My boyfriend wants us to make a sex video. He says it'd be fun and he'd only watch it by himself when I'm not around to remind him of me. I'm not so sure this is something I want to do. Any thoughts for how to approach it with him?

Ken Says: I’ll put this as simply and delicately as I can: If the idea of your aunt Polly trolling around YouTube and inadvertently coming upon a video of your boyfriend working your ass over with a leather strap and two gallons of Mazola doesn’t appeal to you, then I’d pass. In these “content driven” times, you literally never know where your video is liable to show up. One minute, you’re fooling around with a camera, the next, you’re the most downloaded clip at HotTeenFacials.com. Unless you want to experience the embarrassment that comes with discovering your Dad’s poker buddies have been jacking off to your boobs, leave the filmmaking to Scorsese. Seriously.

Ariel Says: Dear Vacillating Video Vixen: Pamela and Tommy Lee, Pamela and Brett Michaels, Art Kelly, Rob Lowe, that annoying dude from Creed and Kid Rock, Colin Farrell, Paris Hilton and Screech have all followed your boyfriend's suggestion. If you wish to have their unintended audience of millions (well, unintended except for Paris and Screech) then by all means, exfoliate, wax, and proceed. However, if you feel too camera-shy and would prefer to have your fifteen minutes of fame fully clothed, tell him very sweetly that you simply will be too nervous, unable to relax, and far too inhibited to do all the fantastically hot, crazy-assed, illegal-in-several-states shit you normally do to him behind closed doors.