UFC is for Lovers

I was recently introduced to UFC whilst looking for reruns of "Everyone Loves Raymond" (because, you know, that show is just so funny. Whoo! And you can never have enough bullshit drivel in your life). The square jaws, mean squints and impressive body ink caught my eye and I decided to stay and watch, drawn in by the dulcet tones of Joe Rogan - "They are SWINGING out there!". OK, so it's two sweaty, testosterone-fueled, insanely cut men punching each other. No, wait, they're hugging. Ooh, now they're wrestling on the ground. Wait a minute, what are they--hold on, that's MY signature move, the Bavarian pretzel! And isn't that--Two Monkeys in a Hammock? My God, they've stolen all my lovemaking techniques! And I'm getting really turned on. Joe's getting really excited too - "They are ALL OVER each other!" Indeed they are, Joe. And I for one am a better, happier person for it.