Invasion of The Perfect Tens

It's officially the start of summer in Southern California - not that anyone's really noticed, weather-wise. But then again, the sudden influx of perfect bodies, male and female, on the streets and beaches is always rather jarring. Where the hell do these people come from? Is there some sort of laboratory where these freaks of nature are kept, fed only on South Beach and Slim Fast, routinely exfoliated and sprayed with Mystic Tan, to emerge triumphantly at the Summer Solstice? I mean, at least in other parts of the state you can at least have that brief moment of smugness when you see a bit of pale flabby skin here, a little cottage cheese thigh there. But here, there is no repreive. It is a relentless parade of magazine pages, sans airbrush and glossy finish.
Hey, I for one am certainly not complaining...when it comes to the men. I may need a new car and a good chiropractor by the end of the summer though if they keep walking past me, carelessly taking off their shirts as I try to drive to work or run my errands. Have a heart, guys!