Breaking News

An informal poll, conducted by about 6 female coworkers right outside my office door about ten seconds ago, indicates that all of them are wearing red underwear today.

Honestly, who talks about stuff like this at the office? I have numerous conversations with male coworkers throughout the course of a business day, and surprisingly few of them have anything to do with what I'm wearing under my shirt and flat-front pants. Has my company been co-opted by Hugh Hefner?

I also wonder if they're doing this on purpose, knowing that I'm seated just within earshot and will now be doomed to spending the rest of my goddam day imagining each of them in their panties, rendering me even more useless than I typically am?

More importantly, is "red day" just a phenomenon at our office today... or is this some sort of unified global movement?