Breaking Them In

Back in college, I dated a girl I called "the school teacher." I called her this because, whenever we got busy, she'd map out every stage of the process is a firm but gentle, almost instructive voice.

"Now I'm going to stroke your cock," she'd say, and start feeling up the Captain. "Now I'm going to caress your balls," she'd note, and begin fondling the jublees. "Now you're going to kiss my stomach." "Now I'm going to blow you." "Now you're going to lick my nipples." And so on and so forth.

After a while sex started feeling like some bizarre educational video, so I tried to work on her inner vixen. "You can say other things," I'd tell her. "You can get a little dirty with it if you want to talk."

But nothing doing. So a summer of, "Now I'm going to straddle you." "Now you're going to grab my wrists." "Now I'm going to lick your earlobe." Not complaining, mind you. The sex was pretty good. But I kept trying to break the seal, unleash the inner porn star I suspected was trying to break out.

I made some progress over the summer, but the Master Plan never really fully blossomed. And we parted ways a few months later, still good friends. I bring her up because I saw her again this past weekend at a friend's Memorial Day bash. She had her fiance with her, and toward the end of the night, when the tequila had settled in and the womenfolk were off doing their own thing inside the house leaving just a buncha guys sitting around the fire, Mr. Fiance started talking up his sexploits with my former.

I wasn't sure if she'd told him anything about our past, so I kept it on the down-low, preferring just to sit back and soak it all in. Especially the part where he noted that he's sometimes shocked by what comes out of her mouth.

Most recently, he explained, in the heat of passion she blurted, "Better get that tongue ready, bitch, because you are going to suck me until I fucking say you're done."

A curious thing to bring up, for sure. But I just kinda smiled, convincing myself that somehow, I helped bring that along.