Awakening The Demon

Most days, I'm a fairly normal, upstanding citizen of society, going about my business, eating properly, getting enough sleep, etc. But there are those times (and I'm thinking it may have something to do with ovulation?) when I just want to act the fuck OUT. I wanna get drunk and screw my best friend's guy. I wanna eat the most greasiest, disgusting thing on earth with my hand down my pants. I wanna pick the dorkiest doofus in the office, get him liquored up and fuck him six ways from Sunday. I wanna find the felon fresh outta Lancaster and ask him to move in with me.
Now, do I indeed act on these impulses, these demonic desires? Aah. That's for another post.