The Power of Impossibly Hot Women

So over the weekend I was at a party in magical Providence, Rhode Island. And there was this impossibly hot blonde there. And through the course of the evening, myself and everyone else in attendance witnessed her:

-- drink two entire bottles of Night Train.
-- blow her nose into her hand and casually wipe her hand on her jeans.
-- tip herself to one side while playing cards to let loose a prodigious fart.
-- explain to everyone that she had a "major wedgie" and continuously pull at the ass of her jeans.
-- eat an entire bag of Jax, leaving orange residue on her fingers, face and shirt.
-- fall down in the hall, claw her way to the bathroom, and vomit.
-- attempt to rub vomit out of her hair with a square of toilet paper.
-- crank "Fergalicious" on the stereo, start dancing and trip over an ottoman.

And, yet, every guy there still wanted to fuck her. Myself included.