Oh Please Shaddap

We only just met recently, but that doesn't seem to impede us from going back to your place and taking off all of our clothes. Granted, those 6 Martian-Piss shots were a great ice-breaker, but I do believe we were destined to be together tonight, what with my 34-D's and your above-average...intelligence.

So this has been really fun. And now I'm stumbling around your bedroom looking for my panties, or perhaps a sock, trying to get back to my car before street cleaning and you're lying in bed watching me with an amused smirk on your face (or if you're really polite, you're standing in your boxers, making a half-hearted attempt to assist in the search but really just checking out my ass). And then, it comes: "I'll call you."

Goddamn it.

Why did you have to do that? We had a good time. And along with this good time, we had an unspoken agreement that this was, is, and most likely will be a one-night stand. But then you had to go and say it. And as cool and nonchalant I act, or the look of mock disgust I give you with a flippant response, you've planted the seed. You've given me Expectation, possibly worse than an STD. And try as I might to go about my day, and the business of living my superstar life, I'll now be checking my phone like a tweaker looking for his next fix.

So thanks. Thanks a lot.

Asshole.