Breaking: Cell Phone Makers In League With Devil, Anna Nicole Still Dead

223731127_b9fc3aaeef_m, originally uploaded by arielbaby.

If you have the pleasure of making small talk with someone over the age of 30, chances are they'll turn to you and say with a bright, chipper smile, "How did we EVER get along without cell phones?". As if we somehow existed without oxygen until 1996. Hooray for progress.

But folks, there is a dark side to all this convenient technology. I refer to the "accidental call back": your celly, Crackberry or Treo somehow gets triggered and calls the last incoming or outgoing phone number. And, it always seems to do this at precisely the moment in which the number called in question, and the person who picks up their phone and innocently asks, "hello"? should be the LAST PERSON ON EARTH you should be calling. For example: your boss, who you called to let her know that you have a rare form of avian flu and will not be coming to work, somehow gets a call back from your phone right when you are regaling your unemployed friends with stories of her granny-panty lines and saggy boobs. Or, your girlfriend, who you dutifully called to tell her you'll be going out with friends, gets a call back to thoughtfully let her know that you're getting one hell of a lap dance with three exotic dancers-in-training.
Key lock? Pfff. You're dealing with Lucifer here. I would strongly suggest throwing it in the nearest trash can as soon as you leave the house. Problem solved.

P.S.-How long can you hold your breath?