The Last Woman I'll Be Needing a Handjob From

From today's Boston Globe, via the AP:

A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches, authorities said Friday. Rebecca Arnold Dawson, 34, was charged with malicious castration in a fight early Tuesday at a party hosted by the 38-year-old man's girlfriend, police said.

Dawson is accused of grabbing the man's genitals. Police said a weapon was not used. He declined to elaborate.