I Always Wanted to Date the Prom Queen

Me, I always wanted to date the high school quarterback. But I had as much chance of that as Jessica has of winning a Fulbright. So, I grew out of it, came to my senses and realized that perhaps I should be with someone more on my level, intellectually and socially.

Yeah....no. I still drool over football players. (Sometimes even current high school quarterbacks, although my parole officer won't let me go near the practice field anymore.) I just think they are so cute, and big, and so...tight, in their lil' spandex pants. And I would like to think that when I'm happily ensconced with some clinically depressed author of self help books or the workaholic web designer who likes The Shins, those yearnings will pass...but more likely Aaron or Phillip are gonna be dumped for Tom. Or Brian. Or Tiki. Or Lawyer. Or Willie. Or Rodney. Or...