But is it really stalking if....

-you idly Google your ex.

-you idly Google Earth your ex's apartment.

-you find yourself driving by the place you had your first date.

-you find yourself driving by his place...for the 18th time that evening.

-you accidentally call his number (you haven't had the heart to delete him from your cell...and "Joe" comes right after your friend "Joanne").

-you "accidentally" break into his voice mail.

-you think you passed his car on the street and your heart skipped a beat.

-you think you see his car parked at Hooters and key it--and then key the other 5 black Ford Trucks in the lot just to be sure.

-you run into him at the supermarket.

-you run your cart into his at the supermarket after your 12-hour stakeout, start screaming and hurling obscenities at him and the confused housewife who had the misfortune of asking him for the time.