Why Ariel Won't Date Models

1. Their place of business is generally filled with that .0002% of the female population with no body fat, aboobsolutely spectacular tits and ass, and the masturbation tools for men everywhere (including Ken.)
2.I still find something effeminate about a guy (think Zoolander) who struts and poses. Now, score a TD or get in a bar fight--ooh yeah.
3. No matter how much makeup, exfoliation, waxing, seaweed wraps--he'll always be prettier than me.
4.Every time we'd go out, people would stop and stare. And think, what the HELL is he doing with her? How'd she land him? And then, I'd have to constantly take off my shoes and throw down on some bitch that thinks she's a more suitable match.
5. He wouldn't date me anyway.