Heatseeker!

Holy christ, did I wake up with wood this morning. Ever have one of those days when you feel so goddamed hot and bothered that you'd crawl on your lips through busted glass for a little action? That you know you're going to head to the office and find yourself fantasizing about grabbing every female who walks past you [yes, even Madge from HR] and bending her over the copy machine? That you actually fear for the girl who hands you your change and Dunkin' Donuts, as you may well jump over the counter, ease her polyester slacks off, and start tonguing her? That you may well break your all-time record for jacking off in a single day [which currently stands at 42]?

Dudettes, today I'm having one of those days. So unless you want to be picked up, thrown over my shoulder and subjected to a brutal round of oral, steer clear.