Missed Opportunities
There's always that one great "oh, what could have been" moment we have in our lives. Now I'm not talking about the time you decided not to move to Seattle or the job you just couldn't take or the time Grandpa Ellis gave you two tickets to the game and you scalped 'em for a night at the naked bar. I'm talking about the chances for outlandish fucking that were never acted upon for reasons that you can't seem to explain even today.
Mine came in college, junior year. My roommate was a dusty Deadhead type who attracted lots of cute girls (coughsellingweedcough). One of them, we'll call her Nancy K because that's her name, was a frequent "customer" of his, and she was taken to stopping by, sealing the deal, then flopping down on our couch to prattle on about her ex-boyfriend or her crazy roomie or the Psych professor who wanted to nail her. She was a New Yawk Jewish girl with frizzy black hair and a big round ass and everytime she came in the room, I was a mad, Coors-fueled hard-on. Even when my roommate wasn't there, she'd come and hang for hours and we'd talk and flirt shamelessly but I never made any sort of move. Then one night, she showed up at our place around midnight, complaining that her roommate had a gentleman caller over and she needed a place to crash. We let her in, but explained that she couldn't have the couch because Crazy Mike was there and she couldn't have the other couch because Crazy Kate was there and they had just smoked and drank up a storm with my roommate and they were all passed out and I wasn't about to wake 'em. Ever the gentleman, I offered her my bed, the top bunk, and she accepted. She then invited me to join her, saying she didn't want to see me have to sleep on the floor.
So I climb up in with her and we're laying there and I can smell the goddam beer on her breath every time she exhales and it's driving me fucking insane with lust and my roommate is asleep and his pals are zonked and Nancy turns and nuzzles that big round ass up to my throbbing johnson and all I can think about are the ways I've been dreaming of violating her and I can feel the waves of torment and heat and sweat riding over me until... nothing.
I just kinda put my arms around her and pulled her close and... that was it.
We eventually fell asleep and woke up in the morning and smiled and went about our separate paths.
Weird and inexplicable, to be sure. Maybe my li'l Irish pecker didn't intrigue her. Maybe we were both too weirded out, what with snoring bodies all around us. I still don't know what kept me from at least attempting to stick my tongue down her throat, but I do know this: not a day goes by that I don't wonder just how nice of a lay she coulda been.
Mine came in college, junior year. My roommate was a dusty Deadhead type who attracted lots of cute girls (coughsellingweedcough). One of them, we'll call her Nancy K because that's her name, was a frequent "customer" of his, and she was taken to stopping by, sealing the deal, then flopping down on our couch to prattle on about her ex-boyfriend or her crazy roomie or the Psych professor who wanted to nail her. She was a New Yawk Jewish girl with frizzy black hair and a big round ass and everytime she came in the room, I was a mad, Coors-fueled hard-on. Even when my roommate wasn't there, she'd come and hang for hours and we'd talk and flirt shamelessly but I never made any sort of move. Then one night, she showed up at our place around midnight, complaining that her roommate had a gentleman caller over and she needed a place to crash. We let her in, but explained that she couldn't have the couch because Crazy Mike was there and she couldn't have the other couch because Crazy Kate was there and they had just smoked and drank up a storm with my roommate and they were all passed out and I wasn't about to wake 'em. Ever the gentleman, I offered her my bed, the top bunk, and she accepted. She then invited me to join her, saying she didn't want to see me have to sleep on the floor.
So I climb up in with her and we're laying there and I can smell the goddam beer on her breath every time she exhales and it's driving me fucking insane with lust and my roommate is asleep and his pals are zonked and Nancy turns and nuzzles that big round ass up to my throbbing johnson and all I can think about are the ways I've been dreaming of violating her and I can feel the waves of torment and heat and sweat riding over me until... nothing.
I just kinda put my arms around her and pulled her close and... that was it.
We eventually fell asleep and woke up in the morning and smiled and went about our separate paths.
Weird and inexplicable, to be sure. Maybe my li'l Irish pecker didn't intrigue her. Maybe we were both too weirded out, what with snoring bodies all around us. I still don't know what kept me from at least attempting to stick my tongue down her throat, but I do know this: not a day goes by that I don't wonder just how nice of a lay she coulda been.
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