getdrunknhookup-ism

For those of us who whistle "Strangers In The Night" as we get ready to go out, our lives are quite simple. We enter the bar/nightclub/party/bingo hall, make our selection from the vast array of slouches holding up the wall near the bathrooms, have a shagadelic time, and then never see them again. No mess, no fuss.

But what about the drunk hookups that occur among friends? Co-workers? The business trip, the big weekend at the lake, the reunion, the wedding...These are situations in which you already know the person, and you are surrounded by people who know you both. And you all have to go have breakfast. In other words, things could get pretty messy. But generally everyone has already gotten the handbook, which states: Act Like Nothing Happened. OK. So yesterday, you were laughing and joking like best friends. Today, you both act as if you just discovered the other person has leprosy and sit as far away from them as possible. And that in itself is a dead giveaway. The more stiff and awkward you act, the more it screams, "I just did her doggie-style 3 hours ago!!!"

Sometimes I wonder if the best thing would be to walk into the brunch/board meeting/etc. and announce, "I'd like to you all to know that McCarthy and I had way too many Alabama Slammers last night, and proceeded to fuck each others' brains out for the remainder of the evening. While we would both agree we had a lot of fun, neither of us are remotely interested in pursuing anything further. Thank you for your time."