Sorry, I Don't Do That
I'm a pretty worldly guy. Enjoy both Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles. Drink out of both sides of my mouth. And have actually convinced actual women to actually sleep with me on several occasions. Like, for free.
But for all my worldliness, there are certain things I simply will not do. Or, more specifically, one thing I will not do. And said thing is: ass play, where my own ass is concerned. Understand: I loves me the female derriere in all its shapes and sizes. As faithful readers will tell you, I'm kinda sorta into having my face sat on. But anytime a chick tries to do anything unto my own arse, I fold up the tents quicker than a 10-cent carnival. One girl wanted to give me a prostate massage to intensify my ejaculation. I lost my hard-on in 3.2 seconds and left for some coffee and a Hostess Fruit Pie.
Also: That thing with the nipples, where you kinda rub and lick mine? Does nothing for me. In fact, it skeeves me to the point that the blood actually flows from my erection and into the part of my brain that activates the "eeeew" motor.
Okay. So that's what I don't do. Now let's hear yours.
But for all my worldliness, there are certain things I simply will not do. Or, more specifically, one thing I will not do. And said thing is: ass play, where my own ass is concerned. Understand: I loves me the female derriere in all its shapes and sizes. As faithful readers will tell you, I'm kinda sorta into having my face sat on. But anytime a chick tries to do anything unto my own arse, I fold up the tents quicker than a 10-cent carnival. One girl wanted to give me a prostate massage to intensify my ejaculation. I lost my hard-on in 3.2 seconds and left for some coffee and a Hostess Fruit Pie.
Also: That thing with the nipples, where you kinda rub and lick mine? Does nothing for me. In fact, it skeeves me to the point that the blood actually flows from my erection and into the part of my brain that activates the "eeeew" motor.
Okay. So that's what I don't do. Now let's hear yours.
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