This Pussy Aint Playin'

Liberace_Piano_12_wks_Gs, originally uploaded by arielbaby.

Hey kids, thought I'd share some fantasy requests that I won't be making come true anytime soon (heh-heh...she said "cum")...

1. I casually mentioned that I can play Chopsticks thanks to one year of involuntary piano lessons. His eyes lit up. "I would love it if you would sit and play the piano naked for me. Ooh, your sweet bare ass perched on that piano stool, playing 'Heart n Soul...'"
No. Does no work for you?

2. One guy loved to do it in the dark. So much so he wanted me to BREAK IN to his apartment in the middle of the night, enter his bedroom and violate him. No lights, no speaking, just Enter Sandman.
No. "Breaking and Entering for Your Stupid Pleasure" is not something I'd like to see on my permanent record.

3. Last but not least is the Big Bad Wolf. Not in a hirsute kind of way, but in a scary, toothy kind of way. He loved cunnilingus, but he wanted to EAT ME. Like the fairy tale. As in biting and chewing. Drawing blood.
No. Get some help. Or take out an ad on Craigslist.