Even White Boys Got To Shout

What is it about the power of the thong that to this day -- now that pretty much every female walking the earth is wearing one -- holds men enraptured? Dude, I recall that, in the dark, pre-thong era, seeing a glimmer of some chick's underwear when she bent over or pole-vaulted a row of barstools to avoid me was cool, but it never instilled the lascivious, sinister thoughts that somehow the sight of a thong incurs.

Case in point: I just returned from yet another corporate trade show, and one of the girls working the booth next to mine was a big girl; not immense, but she had to go at least a good 200 pounds. Every time she bent over, she flashed some big thong action, and every guy within a 50 yard radius would stop and watch, spellbound. I mean, every guy. And not in a "holy shit, lookit that" kinda way, but more in a "mmmmmm.... thongs" kinda way.

It's magic, people. Anyway, to every chick out there wearing a thong today, I salute you.