A Brief But Ultimately Self-Serving Public Service Announcement

Women of America, if I may have your attention for just one moment.

Do I have your attention? Excellent.

::Ahem::

Don't fear the rimjob.

Seriously. Don't.

Because you know me. And you know I'm going to ask eventually. Sure, I can make with the witty banter over dinner. The obligatory reference to the latest Wayans Brothers movie. The questions about your Aunt Netty. I sure hope she's doing okay. But make no mistake: While I'm droning on and on about how Kellie Pickler seems a lock for this year's American Idol, I'm really thinking about rimming you.

Also, understand two things: Every step will be taken to ensure your maximum enjoyment of said rimming. And I never, ever, ever look for reciprocation in this arena. I am strictly about rimming unto others. Never the other way around.

Like, never.

Thanks for your time. And, oh, can I rim you?