Liyah Liyah

I know that many of you were shocked--shocked! that that writer dude lied about being a bad-ass. Which got me to thinking about all the falsehoods I've professed with various suitors. Such as, My God, That Thing Is Sooo Huge, I Don't Have Any Idea How It'll Possibly Fit! Or, Oh-Ahh-Ahhh--No One's Ever Made Me Feel Like This Before, You're The Best I've Ever Had, OmiGodOmiGodOmiGod.

When someone would ask, where's the craziest place you ever had sex? I would frantically flip through an encyclopedia until I would announce triumphantly, "In a tree house...on Easter Island...with the Survivor reality show shooting 3 feet away." Yeah, maybe a little over the top. Shoulda taken out the tree house. But hey, beats the hell out of a pool table in some guy's uncle's basement in Billerica.