To gift or not to gift

This time of year is always difficult, what with the insanity of shopping malls gone wild, family smackdown IV and the inevitable double chin just in time for holiday pictures. So what about gift giving? Do you give your boss a gift? That coworker you've gone out to happy hour with a few times but you would never visit in the hospital? How about...the perfect gift for your special booty call?
Yeah, I saw you shudder from all the way over here. Giving presents (that are not in the form of sexual favors) to those folks you only see between the hours of 2AM and 6AM can make things a little awkward. It's like suddenly you've moved the relationship from its midnight spot on the Playboy channel and put it on Sunday nights on the WB. Or worse, PAX. Pretty funny, though, when you think about it: you know every freckle on his thigh and how one of his balls is bigger than the other, but getting him a Christmas gift?!? Jeez, that's so intimate!
So let's just keep it simple: unless it's a gift that keeps on giving (flavored body oil yes, STD no), I'd leave Rob, Marcus and Joe off the list this year.