It's Amazing How That Mouth Can Make Your Troubles Disappear

Not to belittle the suffering and loss of anyone in the world who has ever been affected by an earthquake, but... if God wants to swallow up my apartment and shitbox car and plop me in some hospital bed where I wake up to find Angelina Jolie's lips within a four foot radius of my cock... I say bring it on. I mean, what other chance do I have of getting Angelina's supremely-crafted ass anywhere remotely close to my bedside? Fuck FEMA and their insipid relocation plans. You wanna bring real comfort to disaster victims? Get Ms. Jolie on the payroll, fit her in some kinda snug, leather FEMA catsuit, and zip her out to the scene. Oh, and a sympathtic handjob goes a long way, too.