The Beginning of The End?

Let me say first that I am Steve Jobs's bitch. Yeah, I got the iPod, G5 iMac, and the matching Apple iDrapes and Sleeper iSofa. Anything this dude rolls out, I wanna buy. But man, if this keeps up, no one is gonna talk to anyone anymore.

Cell phones already keep you at a distance: "Hey Joe. I just wanted to offer you my deepest condol--what? oh, sorry, you're on the phone. Sorry--with the funeral going on, I didn't think--oh fuck it, I'll just text you later."

Lightweight iPods and iShuffles now make it impossible to speak to anyone performing any sort of physical activity. And most likely it will soon be ANY sort of physical activity. Think about it: he wants to fuck to "Enter Sandman" and you want to make sweet love to "What's up Pussycat." No problem. Each of you can plug in and pump away to your own sex soundtrack.

And now, the video iPod Nano. Hoo-fucking-ray. Face it,any remote chance you will meet your future wife or husband in an airport, airplane, subway, store, or other public venue has just been smashed with a device the size of a cigarette lighter. Tom in seat 14D is exceedingly handsome, charming and single, and it turns out we both went to St. Joseph's elementary school. Too bad I'll never know it because I got fucking 6 episodes of Desparate Housewives to watch for the third time. And an Usher video.

One bright spot on the horizon: convenient, travel size porn. Anytime, anywhere--waiting in line at the DMV, or your nephew's Christmas pageant. A nice thing to have when all human contact and interaction are relegated to third world countries.