It's Like Closed Captioning Without the Captioning

Lately, I've been watching far too much of "The N" -- the MTV-lite hormonefest that the pre-school-targeting channel Noggin morphs into at 6:00pm. In between episodes of Degrassi, I find myself drawn, almost hypnotically, to reruns of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.

Before you accuse me of jacking off to Melissa Joan Hart*, let me explain: The show contains what has to be the most egregious cameltoe ever displayed on prime time television. Sadly, it's not Ms. Hart and, thankfully, not Caroline Rea [or Martin Mull, for that matter.]

No, it's Beth Broderick, who plays Sabrina's Aunt Zelda. Check any episode in which Zelda's wearing pants, and see for yourself. It's so out there and in-your-face that I refuse to believe it's accidental. Clearly, we're all the victims of some clever ploy to boost ratings or to further Beth Broderick's career. And by "victims" I mean, of course, "very, very lucky people." Because, dude... free cameltoe. Sabrina Down Under indeed...

*If one was to consider pleasuring oneself to Sabrina, always err on the side of caution and pick an episode when she's away at college, living with the chick who used to play Punky Brewster. I'm almost certain she's over 18 at that point.