Buy This or Else

OK..OK.....just move a little bit to the left...mmm, yeah, right there...up a little farther...too far, go back, go BACK! Right there, yerrssss....Sh-sh-sh-sh, no noise, don't talk....don't talk to me, don't TALK...uuawh...upa lil'...up-a-lil'...righ-ooooh! Stop, stop, don't move, stop moving, stop MOO.OOV.vvv.vv.v............................................................
..................................................................Complete silence.

Time stands still.

The Earth stops turning on its axis.

The universe starts to collapse into itself like a giant black hole.

Breathing is but a distant memory. I can almost

reach out

and touch

the Hand

of Go--

**Cheerful metallic excerpt of "Who Let the Dogs Out?" rings on cell phone**

YOU'RE GONNA DIE, MOTHERFUCKER.