I need a price check on this one

One of the more frustrating aspects of dating in the Western Hemisphere involves the language barrier. I’m referring to the confusion that arises from what a man is saying versus what he means. For example, "You have beautiful eyes, that story about your neighbor's weekly OC party is so funny, and I'd love to see you this weekend" may be roughly translated to, "Nice tits, I'm acting like the bullshit you're spouting is ridiculously interesting so you'll take me home, and I threw in the possible future date to seal the deal though I have absolutely no intention of ever calling you afterwards because you seem too needy and remind me of my ex-girlfriend."

A friend suggested the placement of barcodes on potential suitors for easy scanning and decoding. It would save hours, perhaps days of valuable time that could be spent watching Road Rules/Real World marathon, as well as cutting to the chase. After all, my anecdote of the OC party was merely a paltry excuse to check out your arm and leg muscles in "friendly, conversational touching." I'm also a sure thing so please cut the bullshit compliments because my face is about to fall off from politely smiling. And I hope to God you're not serious about seeing me this weekend because that's waaay too eager and besides, do I really want to have kids with such big foreheads?