When Less is Infinitely More

I read somewhere recently (coulda been New England Medical Journal, coulda been the back of Stuff magazine) that there's a correlation between male baldness and higher levels of testosterone. Well, put me in a cage and call me Lil' Ms. Guinea, but I've had the immense pleasure of investigating that hypothesis. I had a boyfriend who was losing his hair by 25, but his aggressive and voracious sexual appetite nearly made me pull out the remainder of his locks in sheer ecstacy. I mean, Jesus. I could barely walk for days, and I had the silliest grin permanently plastered to my face (not exactly fitting for Great Aunt Bernice's funeral, may she rest in peace.)

So I'd like a sandwich, please, with the gentleman above and the gentleman below. Hold the mayo, I'll take care of that myself.