The Curious World of Men and Women, Episode 45

In conjunction with your local 7-11, today we celebrate "69 day" at kenandariel.com. And -- surprise, surprise -- I've got a story to relate.

The first night things got heavy with Potential Kennette Model 231-B, it didn't take long for me to request a little 69 action. I figured she'd be pretty down, as some of the talents in her repertoire suggested as much, but in one of those music-stops-immediately-in-the-jukebox moments, she kinda arched an eyebrow and looked at me curiously.

"I'm not really into that," she confessed.

I was bummed, but still appreciative of the honesty. So I was about to set plan B in motion when she added:

"But... I'd be willing to try it... if you let me keep my pants on."

Which is kind of like going to a restaurant where food simply runs past you on a conveyer belt secured behind a glass shield. But I was a bit buzzed. And all hot and bothered. And you know how that goes. So, what, I was gonna say no?

So I lie down, and she perches atop my face. And it's then that I realize, yeah, I'm basically tonguing a pair of jeans. So she starts gyrating a bit. And making some obligatory "oooh oooh" sounds while subjecting my fair Irish skin to third-degree denim burns. And my thoughts turn to the turkey sandwich I've got sitting in the fridge.

Anyway, this goes on for another fifteen minutes or so, until she makes some mad bucking movements and dismounts. And I sit there looking up at the ceiling a bit, checking to see if my nose is bleeding and running my hand across the indents in my flesh made by the back pockets of her Levis. And then I go get some ice for my face.

And the subject of 69 was never really broached with Potential Kennette Model 231-B again, to be honest.