So I married an alien

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Awright, I guess I've been living in a freakin' cardboard box the past 10 or so years, but recently I've met quite a few people who just happen to mention, around the keg or buffet table, that yeah, they've been married before. But, it was only so Javier or Mele or Gunther could have a green card. "No biggie, the guy/gal needed a favor." Or "I got $3000 out of the deal. It was only for 2 years." Well, let's just say I was shocked. Shocked, I tell ya! Why the hell didn't anyone give me that brilliant idea, when my dad was screaming for grandkids, and my mother kept addressing mail to "The Bitter Old Maid"? I could have gotten them off my back and made some sweet benjamins in the process! BTW ladies, I think you can now get a green card with gay marriage, at least in Massachusetts--gimme a call! Good rates!