Damn you, Queer Eye--give us back our neanderthals!!!

Gentle reader, please advise. Hath hell frozen over? Hath pigs flown by your window? Hath the Red Sox won the World Series? (oh please, oh please...) I am completely bamboozled by this one. One night I happened upon a bar/nightclub establishment with a name like "Shakeys" or "Joey's"--something that usually translates to "get laid--FOR FREE!". So in I went with my mates. I met a cute boy on the dance floor, and we proceeded to give a free showing of "Dirty Dancing II-Hot Havana Nights" for whomever was interested. We laughed. We drank. We exchanged globs of saliva. The bar closed, and he grabbed my hand and led me home. All was going according to plan. Extraneous clothing was removed. Erogenous zones were given thoughtful attention.

And then, the phrase that stopped me cold: "It's not my style to bang chicks on the first night."

Ladies and Gents, I was in my car heading home by 2:37 a.m., completely dazed and confused. What in God's name is the world coming to?!?!?