Why get off the couch?
I was happily ensconced, Zesty Ranch Doritos nestled lovingly betwixt my breasts, watching "Risky Business," when the phone rang. It's Saturday night, it screamed. Plans have been made. Put yer face on and get out the door. Can I call in sick?
I dutifully get gussied up like the tart I'm supposed to be and hit the streets. The rest of the night goes like this:
"crazy party" was a dirty, barely furnished 2-room apartment with 5 people, deep in discussion as to which animal was more people friendly: dogs, cats, or boa constrictors.
"rockin' bar" consisted of virginal nerd central, and I had the pleasure of being seated next to Artie Ziff. Artie had received a healthy overdose of self-confidence thanks to the $2 Bud draft and was insistent on displaying his amorous zeal. I was insistent on displaying my wrath.
"the after hours club" was Denny's at 1:37 AM: 2 eggs, 2 sausage, 2 flapjacks.
Dearest Sofa, I will never leave your side again. At least not until next weekend.
I dutifully get gussied up like the tart I'm supposed to be and hit the streets. The rest of the night goes like this:
"crazy party" was a dirty, barely furnished 2-room apartment with 5 people, deep in discussion as to which animal was more people friendly: dogs, cats, or boa constrictors.
"rockin' bar" consisted of virginal nerd central, and I had the pleasure of being seated next to Artie Ziff. Artie had received a healthy overdose of self-confidence thanks to the $2 Bud draft and was insistent on displaying his amorous zeal. I was insistent on displaying my wrath.
"the after hours club" was Denny's at 1:37 AM: 2 eggs, 2 sausage, 2 flapjacks.
Dearest Sofa, I will never leave your side again. At least not until next weekend.
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