Hoover, Damn!

Today is the day I announce my unrequited love for Kit Hoover. The brunette in the photo above holding the basketball and a baseball bat? That's her. As if you didn't know.

Kit Hoover is one of the hosts of ESPN 2's "Cold Pizza." Which, as it is on ESPN 2, I assume to be about sports. But it could be about cold cuts and barber poles for all I know, as I can't get past the majesty that is Kit Hoover.

Kit Hoover is perfection. Kit Hoover is unbridled sexuality in a neatly pressed pants suit. She is all hips and lips and cheekbones and nuclear perkiness that you don't normally get on morning television. She is equal parts president of the high school science team and booze-swilling cheerleader who doesn't think twice about wearing a thong under her skirt, because she's damn proud of her ass and wouldn't you be if you were Kit Hoover and you got to bring that ass around town? Fuck right you would be, Jackson!

She doesn't even know I exist. But this is temporary. My plans for world domination include having Kit Hoover at my side, riding shotgun in the chariot as my army of giant robots decimates the countryside.

Also, her name is extremely fun to say. And while it begs a vaccuum reference, you won't get one of those from me. I'm just not that kind of guy.